I am kaitco

a writer's log

An extra-ordinary day Monday, July 18, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 10:42 pm
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Nothing significant happened today.

I think I finally made a decision on what program I’m going to use to view “TV” on my TV laptop, I learned to make some microwave nachos and I took a couple of lengthy naps. I also wrote 599 words today (Anessa, I’m warning you), so all-in-all, it was an ordinary, but great day.


Killing my joy Sunday, July 3, 2011

Filed under: Reading,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I didn’t get to church today because I had to be at first-job. I could have said no, but I know a time will come when I need someone to cover for me, so I did it, not because I’m kind, but because I really do expect something in return. Today was not a good day in that regard.

It took only one day with the “TV” on before I fell back into poor habits. I fell asleep in my chair as I was watching instead of acknowledging my fatigue and dragging myself back to bed. Instead of allowing my nine days of clarity to go by the wayside, I’ve decided to take a stand and ease further into this. I had a wonderful thing going by reading myself to sleep each night and I’ll definitely be going back to that. There is something very different in falling asleep after reading for so long that I can barely keep open my eyes versus falling asleep to the ambient, but still cacophonous sound of television. I also found that I’m never as relaxed and happy to start my day as I am when I take 20-30 minutes in the morning just to read.

All this profound realizing aside, I did a lot of writing this evening by writing 803 words (who had the voice of a pop star.) in my zeal to push further through this part of the chapter. The interesting thing about writing tonight was that I wrote more the scene where Damen goes to church. I got to sit in the moment and really feel as if I were there singing Blessed Assurance with the rest of my church, though the church Damen visits is far different from my own. Though I didn’t get to go, I still feel as if I went.

I sang the songs of Zion in my choir to and from first-job and sat in pews of my mind’s eye. I haven’t got to sermon part so that’s of course missing, but I really feel better now having written a little than I did at this start of this morning when I resigned to the fact that I didn’t have it in me to get to Sunday School and then work a full day.


Mental cleansing Thursday, June 23, 2011

The other night I had a mild epiphany and I decided that what I really needed was a mental and spiritual wash.

For months now, I’ve felt almost trapped in the mundane, wanting something I couldn’t articulate and unable to think clearly for more than 300 words at time. I’ve skipped church for nothing more than sheer laziness and I’ve skipped piano lessons for the same. I’ve let the housework pile and pile while I’ve played video games for days on end. Books have gone unread and unwritten and all the while, the days of my life float in and out of existence without anything meaningful for any of them.

I’ve become dirty; muddy with filth of sloth and ignorance and it’s time I simply took a bath.

For the rest of the month (less than 10 days because I know how I am), I’ve decided not to watch any TV (via Netflix or otherwise) and not to play any games outside of Zumba or DDR. This means no Rock Band for more than a week…heaven help me. The only thing I can watch are films on Netflix I’ve not before watched, so no re-watching About a Boy or Frasier for the rest of the month…Lord Almighty.

I’m also going to listen to just classical music and opera until July as well to give my mind the time it needs to ponder and wonder (it’s a shame those words don’t rhyme) and since I’m not watching TV or listening to music that “speaking” to me, I’ll be reading nightly to get that touch of characterization I seek each day. It’s only with a completely clear mind that I’ll be able to understand what’s wrong with the soul and why I can’t seem to strengthen my spiritual resolve.

There was a time when I was just so happy to be a Christian that church was the favorite thing in my life. Nowadays, I can’t remember the last time I went three full weeks without missing church. Shameful when I think about what I used to do. I used to be in two choirs and on the usher board and a second board and teach Sunday School and at the very least attend each week. I blamed part of my attitude towards church on my mother moving away, but two years later, there’s got to be more to it.

I keep getting these urges where I say I’ll read my bible every day and will start going to Sunday School again, but these too do pass. I’m in a spiritual rut and I know with three Sundays in July coming where I’ll be working instead of going to church, I know that if I don’t cleanse myself spiritually now, come August, my pastor and my church may have stopped wondering where I’ve gone.

So, it’s time to clean, to scrub and to peel away this rank odor of sloth and boredom. I’m not sure how successful I’ll be; I suppose Sunday afternoon, a prime day to lay around instead of going to church and then play Rock Band all day, will be the real test of my resolve.

This is about more than just getting the dishes or the laundry done, or trying to read my bible and play piano every day. This is about getting back to what makes me before I forget what the real me is like.

I wrote 407 words today (It’s time to get up) and I’ve made it more than 24 hours at this point with no Rock Band or Frasier. Just a few more days to go…and then becomes the real challenge keeping myself from slipping back into monotony.


The Climb Friday, June 17, 2011

by No Doubt ~ Tragic Kingdom

I hate nights when I have to work for someone else. The day never drags as long as when I know I’ve got stay even longer than I normally would. On a Friday, especially, I don’t want to be there half the time and to stay at first-job until close and then shooing out those who don’t seem to want to go home on a Friday evening is most soul-sucking aspect of my week. That said, Season Eight of Frasier has arrived today, so I know I’ll perk up in just a bit.

Speaking of Netflix, as much as I adore them, they’ve got an angry call coming their way. I order my Netflix queue so that I receive a season of a show and a movie, five discs total, each time I get something in the mail. For the past four of five rounds, they’ve been skipping that last disc in the series and sending me the next movie in the queue. Then I later get an apologetic e-mail stating that my intended disc wasn’t available and would arrive a few days later. It’s great that they have the courtesy to send me an extra disc while I’m waiting for the one I wanted, but it’s absolutely irritating when it comes to a show that likes to end the series on a cliffhanger. I knew what was coming at the end of Frasier seventh season, so I didn’t even open the envelopes until the last disc arrived because I knew I’d be pulling out my own hair in frustration that I couldn’t watch the last three or four episodes of the season for another day or two.

Speaking of companies I both love and loathe, Harmonix have got quite the racket going and I’ve managed to get sucked into the act of checking the Rock Band site daily and growing wild with anticipation at the thought of new DLC for Rock Band. I only want three of the next six songs coming and they’re not even my favorite music, but I can’t think of anything else I want more in life at the moment. How did this happen?? Two months ago, I would have scoffed loudly at the idea of paying 2 dollars for songs I already owned, but now I’m fervently awaiting the moment when I can readily hand my funds to Micro$oft and Harmonix. It’s a good thing I fear getting kicked off Xbox Live too much to research pirating RB songs because honestly…

I went into another tangent while writing tonight, though I think this one may make the cut. In a story that supposed to take place between end of August 2007 and end of May 2008, I’m up to end of November 07 and I’m a good 100K words into it already. I’ve also got some rather lengthy side stories to lead in and then uncover between now and the end which means this thing will be close to Flight length before all is said and done. How I’ll ever wrangle my wordiness I’ll never know, but tonight’s deviation is a good piece of foreshadowing for a character who life I keep ending and bring back with each edit.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say about Amber, but she, like Brian and Zach and Andy, has been a part of the story since close to its inception and, while I’m not entirely sure she does much more than add some melodrama to the story, I still enjoy writing her. Amber’s personality is like the antithesis of myself; lacking any sense of self-esteem and obsessed with what she’ll never be. Damen mentions when he first sees her that she’d be almost pretty if she didn’t work so hard to look like Jessie, but since she does, to the point of bleached hair and blue contacts, it manages to make her very ugly, which is why it’s important to paint her as not so much a mean or horrible person like Jessie, but just a sad and confused young girl.

Learning from my mistakes with Jonathan Halloway in Flight, if I want my audience to feel a certain way about a character, I’ve got to manipulate it early so that when they do some daft things, said actions will be the result of the stress I’ve put on the character rather than just the same old thing. It’s a bit of a side-track at this juncture in the novel, but I think I’ve given her just enough depth to make my reader really consider her.

I wrote exactly 300 words (to Aunt Jackie watching the others play football) tonight <> and I’m in the mood to write more, but I’ve got new hobbies and TV calling. I will say this, however. Even though it was less than 5 minutes total, I did play the piano for a bit earlier this morning. It wasn’t enough for a full practice, but enough to get my mind working the right way again.


An early night Monday, June 13, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 10:17 pm
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With first-job calling extra early tomorrow, I’ve got to get to bed a little earlier than my usual 4am, so I’m calling it a night early.

I’ve got some Frasier to re-watch, however, and I rather than try to break my string of episodes only to end up staring at the laptop screen for forty minutes as I muster some creativity, I figured I’d write now instead of after Rock Band and TV drained what’s left of my writing ability for the day.

I wrote 335 words today (she sighed as she poured herself a glass of wine) and I’ve been thinking about a character who has yet to appear in the novel yet all day. Like with Dana’s character, I love him dearly, though I’m not entirely sure of his full purpose in the novel. Though, again, just like Dana’s character, I’m sure if I just keep writing, inspiration is bound to do the rest.


Pink on the map Friday, June 10, 2011

I was a little disappointed when this storm finally hit. Aside from some rather loud thunder, we didn’t really get much of anything. Still, it is a bit unsetting to look at the weather and see pink on the map.


Instead of another day of Rock Band, I started to peruse my poor and unloved main website to see if I had even remembered to renew the domain for another year. I started to make a minor update and then decided to add my Twitter feed to it and then decided to update my About Me page and then decided that the About Me page needed some layout changes and then decided…well, it was late in the evening when I had finally reaching a coding and design stopping point. I tried to do some laundry only to find that the flooding had got even worse and showed no sign of stopping.

The plumbers came very quickly and seemed to have corrected the problem, but I’m a little worried to go back down there and see what they’ve done to my basement.

Even with all the code written today and playing with Photoshop, I managed 297 words (clean her up like you did when you were little) and practiced a little piano too.

I started up Lego Rock Band and was quite tickled at the first little video that showed the band coming together. I also learned I could play guitar and sing and dance at the same time as I played “I Want You Back” for the first time. I can tell I’m going to have great fun going through these achievements and may even hold onto the game just for the heck of it.

As I predicted, my Frasier Season 7 has arrived and I’ve got hours worth of Niles and Daphne wonderfulness coming my way, so I won’t be doing


Vacation Sunday, June 5, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I’ve decided to take vacation this week, though I’m not quite sure how I’ll be spending it. I’d like to spend the week writing and playing Rock Band and catching up a little on work, but I imagine myself not getting much of anything done at all, regardless.

I’m thinking this way as I’ve been home since about 3pm and I didn’t get my car cleaned and still didn’t manage to play any more Rock Band for the whole day. What I’ll do tomorrow is still a mystery.

I’ve spent the entire day watching Frasier and nibbling on this and that; mostly watching Frasier. I did manage to get to church today and hold my Bumby for a bit and I did manage to write 322 words this evening (humbled him as he lounged across the bed) as well as play the piano for a bit as well.

Here’s praying that this week is at least partly productive…


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