I am kaitco

a writer's log

Simming vs. Writing Monday, January 10, 2011

Filed under: The Sims — kaitco @ 11:42 pm
Tags: ,

Any time I have a long expanse of time on my hands, I have to make a conscious decision on how I’m going to spend it. Often, however, this time falls into one of two categories: writing and simming. Today, like many days before it, was a day where I chose the sims.

So, while I can’t say I’ve done anything significant in regards to my literary aspirations, I have created a simified version of myself.

Meet Dorienne Duplex, created to ease sims into their duplex homes.

It’s far easier to have a random sim to have others move into duplex-type homes and I figured that I would be the best candidate for the job. She’s not truly a spitting image of me since her bottom isn’t big enough and her eyes are too dark, but I like her nonetheless.

I haven’t had a lot of things to smile about in the past few days and, if Dorienne Duplex can make me grin just for a moment…then so be it.

 

Another day Sunday, January 9, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne — kaitco @ 11:42 pm
Tags: , , ,

I started the day feeling so high from church, but another day spent mostly at work has robbed me from any meaningful writing.

Between people issues, technical issues and the incessant questions, I never get anything done there so I have to stay for hours afterward hoping to get some actual work done. By the time I get back home, I’m too tired to write anything.

I considered writing a tiny bit, less than 100 words, just to say that I’d written something, anything, but I’d rather just call it a night. I’ve got a load of “Seinfeld” episodes queued for me and a little bit of dinner, so I can only hope for the best.

Whether it’s my family, my first job, my doubts about my writing or a combination of all three, I just get so fatigued it’s hard to know if even worth it to keep going…

 

I blame work Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Filed under: Artwork,Dorienne — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
Tags: , , ,

I didn’t get anything written today; I blame my first job.

One of the other managers called in sick and I had was pseudo-drafted to pick up the slack. And, since I’ve been doing a crap job of loading my novel onto my phone each day, I didn’t have my current chapter with me and thus, got nothing done. I did however get a kind of cool shot for my Project 365:
.

Anyway…photo finish on this post!

 

WTC! WordPress App! Thursday, December 30, 2010

Filed under: Dorienne — kaitco @ 12:02 pm
Tags: , , ,

I’m cheating with starting this post now; this way I’ll have something written for 12/30 and won’t have to look back on the day with disdain.

/////

This post was originally titled “Cheating,” but I had to change it when I saw how the WordPress app for iPhone totally screwed over my post:

Now, on with the rest of this…after I freakin’ fix what the WP app did to this post…

/////

I didn’t get anything written yesterday and I don’t think I’ll get anything written tonight either. I also barely got any housework done so yesterday was a complete slothful waste in every way.

I’m pretty much hooked on caffeine again, so I’ll just add that to the lengthy list of new year’s resolutions. I’m worried about what lies in my gene pool though and I greatly worry about bipolar disorder. I’ve been often told that it affects creative types, usually shows up during the twenties or thirties, is acerbated by drug and alcohol abuse and is hereditary. Since 3/4 of these factors are outside of my control, I work hard to control the one that is in my control by limiting alcohol and removing all people from my life who could even relate me to drugs.

The problem, however, is that there are a lot of drugs that people ignore since they are so commonplace. Over the counter meds are one, so I steer clear of those unless I’m in severe pain, but caffeine is another whose abuse is rampant, but because it is so commonplace, it is readily ignored. What has me worried are thoughts from a few weeks ago, when I clearly remember saying to myself, “God, I wish I was still on caffeine so that I could have something to hold on to.” Now, I’ve got a caffeine headache and am “itching” to get my next “fix.”

I know it sounds weak to compare caffeine with other drug problems, but this truly is how it starts. Life feels out if control and in the midst of a low, you reach for anything that will make you feel something, anything. Caffeine gives me a little rush and the desire of getting more keeps me from feeling so empty at times; like I suddenly have purpose. It’s a very scary thought because it’s only a skip and a jump to other things that will help make me feel something when I’m low.

I’m going to go without any caffeine for the next few days, but I hate the idea of going into a new year with this issue hanging over my head.

Anyway, my goals for 12/31/10 are quite lofty and include everything from laundry to vacuuming the windows and complete not just Chapter 7, but Chapter 8 too!

My odds of making one of these goals is slim to none, but here’s to trying and to trying to avoid drug abuse for another year!

 

Hazlo tarde Wednesday, December 29, 2010

So, nothing got written during all of yesterday.

The main reason for it is that I was playing IT specialist to my family, traveling and worked close to a 14-hour day at my first job. I’m not using these as excuses, but I just plain ran out of time.

I don’t I’ll get too much written this week since I’m closing in on the new year and am simply determined to get my house cleaned before then. I want the laundry done, trash outside, my bed made, the bathroom cleaned, dishes done, paper shredded and sorted, and floor and stairs vacuumed before I leave for Watch Night service this Friday. It’s a lot to do, but I know if I haven’t got it done by the time I leave, the whole year will be much like it was this year: in a perpetual state of trying to catch up with all the crap.

I was doing some pondering today, while manning some mindless tasks, about my upcoming Harry-fic and how I plan on going about the relationship thingy. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of making something that could truly fit in between Books 5 and 7, which means I may need to play down the whole Harry/Hermione thing a bit, or at least make it very clear how Ron doesn’t want Hermione after all, why Harry does and yet still keep things on a level that could potentially lead into Book 7. I’m not sure I can “re-write” Book 6 as Harry/Hermione and still make it fit nicely into Book 7, but I think it’s worth a shot. At least, with this in the back of my mind, it will help keep me honest to the characters and ensure that I’ve justified the decision I’ve made since I’m certain there are so many people in this world who got through the first 4 Harry books and came to a completely different conclusion about the state of the trio’s love triangle from me. I think I’ll just stick to the old edict of “Two men, one woman…trouble.” and write what suits me.

I often find myself comparing myself to each of the characters I write and as I continue with Damen, it gets harder to make complete distinctions. It’s like I’m their…god and I’ve left a lot of myself in all of them, even Corey. I’ve also made some characters that reflect (at least on a subconscious level, initially) how I think many people see me and how I would like to see myself. I did this with Flight as well. I looked at Alexa and knew that she was how people saw me: short, annoying and unwanted. I wanted to be seen like Andrea: tall, respected, intelligent and dark-skinned and beautiful. It’s almost like I’m writing the same character, though I have yet to see which character fits how folks might see me, other than Britiana, who’s just a little too obvious. Brit’s short, I’m short. Brit’s black, I’m black. Brit had mostly white friends in suburbia and I had the same. Outside of that, however, our likenesses really end. I didn’t sit at the trendy table in high school, but I guess some of the people who I ran with did, so others kind of saw me that way (as I learned in college), but really, I don’t think too many people would look at Brit and think: Dorienne! I definitely want to be seen like Anessa since, like Andrea, she is tall, respected, intelligent, dark-skinned and beautiful. I can see her very clearly in my mind and I can’t help wishing that I was like her, the same way I get jealous of the African women at my first job; I just feel like my blood is so dirty compared to them and some days, my skin looks more yellow-oakish than a rich mahogany. Anyway, I’m just rambling now.

I would like to finish Chapter 7 as well, but I’ll be happy if I can just get things sorted at the first job and just moving in the right direction on the second.

I’d also like to turn on the heat this week, but we’ll see if I can work up the courage to change the air filter…it’s definitely been a while.

 

 
%d bloggers like this: