I am kaitco

a writer's log

Relief Saturday, July 30, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 12:02 pm
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I’m starting to feel a bit better and I owe a lot of that to Aleve which is brought me out of a lot of pain since I was just a schoolgirl. πŸ™‚

I haven’t much to say this morning, but I’m happy for once that I’ve slept without any dreams. Perhaps, it’s timing my meals in relation to when I decide it’s time for sleep, but I’m thanking God daily that they’ve stopped for now. Today may hold a whole new handful of troubles, however, so I won’t get up my hopes just yet.

I wrote 489 words this morning (She’s just gonna leave it like that?”) and I find myself with this sudden of rush of adrenaline when it comes to Damen. I thought after watching HP7 that I’d have to physically tear myself away from Nostrum, but all my thoughts have surrounded Damen lately. I think I may have been right the other day when I said I needed “closure” on my Harry Potter experience. Not that I won’t give Nostrum my full attention one day, but that it could slip so easily from the forefront of my mind…I guess I really am an adult now.

 

Potterly, Part 2 and in 3D Monday, July 25, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I concluded my recent Harry binge this evening by watching Deathly Hallows, Part 2 and enjoyed just about every aspect of it. I know that my thoughts of the movie are clouded since I haven’t read the book since the day it was sold, but I enjoyed what I saw and I thought I understood.

I cried when Fred died, hard. In fact, I had to stifle a sob because there were ten other people in the theatre with me and I didn’t want to ruin it for them. I knew it was coming too, because I remember crying my eyes out in the book when this happened which made the scene even more difficult. The best parts of the 7th book, however, were captured in this second part and was an amazing ride; by far the best of all eight movies.

My Potter-joy crashed rather quickly, though, when I saw that someone had scratched and dented my car door. I was so angry, but even if I stand there and wait for the other people to come out of the theatre, I knew it would be fruitless and most likely several hoodrats (by the look of their car) against just me. Nevertheless, I’m annoyed; back to Potter though.

I chose to watch the film in 3D, but was a little disappointed by that aspect of it. I think if we’re going to make “3D” movies, we need to go full spectrum and add that fourth layer to them. When the dragon composed of fire lunges out to the crowd, I should feel it’s heat blow across my face. When the gang splashes into water, I should feel little water droplets all over me. If it can be done on that Spiderman ride I’ve ridden multiple times, back-to-back at Universal’s Islands of Adventure, it can be done in a normal movie too. Another problem I found was that it got difficult in the end to see that third “D” when my glasses were fogged up from the tears…poor Fred!

All this said, I’m glad that I did actually go see the movie and have that sense of closure I think I’d desired since I first opted not to watch the sixth movie. Now, it’s done and now I can focus on other things…hopefully.

I wrote just 263 words (borrow four different versions of Hamlet) for the night, breaking my streak of 300+ words, but not my spirit which pines to up my daily word count to 300 by July 31 (coincidentally Harry Potter’s birthday!!! πŸ™‚ ). Perhaps tomorrow, I won’t be too tired to get to 300 “real” words because I’d spent the past two hours writing notes for a Harry fic (which, from here on out, will be given the project name “Nostrum”), but time will only tell.

 

Life’s decisions Sunday, July 24, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:11 pm
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I’m not sure if I’ve said it earlier, but I’ve decided to grow out my natural hair, meaning no more relaxers for a while. I haven’t been able to stand them for the past couple years and seeing as how my hair is nearly always in braids, I don’t see much point to them anymore.

I’m going to take down my hair tonight and for the first time in forever, I’m going to get my braids done again tomorrow, without a relaxer break this time. I’m a bit nervous about this because I vaguely fear my hair is just going to randomly start falling out big clumps if I don’t get a relaxer precisely six weeks after the previous, but I know it’s just nerves about change in general.

I watched the sixth Harry Potter movie today and, whether it was because I hadn’t read that book in over six or possibly seven years or whether it was because of better acting and storytelling overall, I liked Movie 6 far better than I liked Movies 4 and 5. This will most likely change come the time I decide to re-read Book 6, but for now, I can honestly say I like the adaptation of Book 6 more than I actually liked the book, which is really a first for me.

Again, I’ve not read the book in ages, though there were a few parts I remember being notably missing, and I was rather confused at some parts and a bit bored at others, but I haven’t been his entertained by a Potter film since some time in 2004.

I wrote 350 words tonight (a short ponytail, if he desired.), not to mention the other hundred or so I managed in the notes of this Potter fic, which I imagine will continue to stay at the forefront of my mind until some time later this week, when I’ve seen all 8 Potter films and fulfill that sense of completion that’s been bugging me since I opted not to see the sixth one in the theatres.

Also, I didn’t go to church again today and since I work next weekend, this means I’ll have gone the entire month of July without going at all. I certainly didn’t mean for this to happen, though I’ve spoken to some family and church family recently. I’m not as hurt by it this week as I was last week. I’m not sure if I’m making peace with not going or just relenting to the fact that I needed some time away from that particular church, but I must say, I’ve not talked to God this much since I first joined the church 5 years ago.

 

Potterly Saturday, July 23, 2011

As I write this post now, I am listening to “Buckbeak’s Flight” from the Prisoner of Azkaban score. I bought the score while the film was still in theatres; sometime after my second viewing, but before my fourth. Months later, I would watch the scene from the film that carried this very song because I just enjoyed it so much and wanted to keep the visual crisp in my mind when I heard the song.

My playlist has now changed to “A Window to the Past,” a song on the same score that I only recently discovered and associate, not with film or HP in general, but with John Williams’ music and its influence on my writing. I think this is how I view the entire Potterverse at this point in my life.

Aside from the obvious reference to a “window to my past,” I see HP as something I did as a kid, full of memories, I’d rather not dampen just because everyone in the world seems to be talking about it. That said, yesterday I finally made up my mind about going to see this last film in the theatres.

I wasn’t going to go, but then someone at first-job mentioned that this is my last time to see an HP film in theatres, in 3D and all that jazz. While I’m not exceptionally wow’d by the concept of a 3D film, as I prefer to be awed by immaculate storytelling and I’m certain that at some point in the next few years, these films will be rehashed and re-released Star Wars style, I accept that my co-worker did have a point.

I rented the fourth through seventh (part 1) films and plan to make this a Potter-filled weekend before going off to see it on Monday. I’m not excited by this though. It’s very reminiscent to the midnight party for Book 7. I hadn’t picked up an HP book since I finished Book 6 and found the magic to be almost literally broken, but I went to buy the book out of an obligation of completion.

I never saw the sixth and seventh films because I disliked the fourth and fifth movies and since I knew I hated the sixth book, I saw no point, but here I am again with this sense of obliging to completion.

I thoroughly believe the films lost their way around the fourth one, where the producers and screenwriters decided that it was no longer important to tell an actual story with the adaptation; only throw some images on the screen and hope that people who read the books has some iota which actor corresponds to which character. This believe returned in full sway after re-watching the fourth one last night. I remember generally liking the fourth one the first time around when I saw it at midnight, but knew I was going to be disappointed to see an adaptation of one of my absolute favorite books. Years later, however, that disdain has grown deeper as I had only the vague memory of the books to guide me, but was irritated that if I hadn’t had that, I would have been really, really lost in the movie.

Why did the fake Moody keep the real Moody in that box? Why not just kill the kid while he no one was around him (though I suppose this is a simply question for the novel itself)? Why was it important that Voldemort could touch Harry? Why the hell was screaming so much when Voldemort touched him? What was going on with the wands at the end? Why did Harry see his parents’ ghosts? Why were Voldemort and Wormtail holding up in that particular house? What was the deal with the skull and the snake sign? What was going on in the scene with the pensieve?

Oi…and now I’ve got three more films to watch of this.

Of course, I know all the answers to these questions because I’ve read the book a minimum of seven times, probably closer to eight, but in trying to views these just like any casual viewer, I’m left with irritation that filmmakers could be so greedy as to cut out all the substance of a book just to splash it on the big screen. Peter Jackson may have left out and changed some aspects of LOTR (hello, Tom Bombadil?), but overarching story was still intact.

I’m not really sure why I’m ranting about Potter tonight. I think it’s just been a long week and I want to rant about something and since I generally disliked that movie last night (no Dobby, no house elves, no SPEW, Krum was too cute, Diggory wasn’t cute enough, Fleur wasn’t a veela, no Bagman and that !@#$%^&* scene with face in the fire!), this will have to do.

I wrote 518 words today (a pair of scissors, two combs and a brush), not counting the ones I added to the Potter-fic ( πŸ˜‰ ) and I think I’m going to use this weekend to be as annoyed as I want to be, while trying to write a little more as well.

 

Can’t Let Go Wednesday, July 13, 2011

by Mariah Carey ~ MTV Unplugged

My mind’s a bit drained currently, so it’s been difficult to come up with a decent title or even post on time. I’m writing nonetheless.

I watched The Dark Knight tonight and since I approached it thinking it was going to be hokey, I rather enjoyed it. I also had a lengthy conversation today about Harry Potter that got me wondering whether I should go see this final film and re-read the books.

I’ve been wanting to re-read the books for the longest time, but since Movie 3 put a bad taste in my mouth, Movie 4 made it much, much worse and Movie 5 made me want to get up and leave the theatre, I’m not too keen on the films anymore. I haven’t watched the sixth one or the first part of the seventh and I highly disapprove of the seventh book being broken into a two movies. If these producers were really smart, they’d have started splitting them at Movie 4 and then let it drag out until all the kids were nearly 30, not that some of them aren’t already.

It sounds like it would be so easy to wrapped up in all that again, but I’m not quite sure I want to do it. All of it, the books, the movies, the forums, just feels like something I did at 18. I’m very different today than I was at 18 and I worry about further tarnishing the series in my mind.

Movie 5 didn’t do the 5 book justice and while I could probably watch Movies 6 and 7 with no problem since I’ve not read those books in about 3 or 4 years, I’m not sure I’m ready to make the leap. A nagging part of me remembers the 18-year-old Dorienne writing an editorial for Mugglenet.com about The Surprise of Harry Potter and how enjoying it this point in history is far better than anyone else would have it and that somehow, I’ll regret not taking part in all of this. The rational side of my mind, however, says I’ve better books to read and write than Harry Potter at the moment and reminds me that I can’t get distracted. For now, I suppose, I’ll get my Harry kicks by playing the games based on Movies 2 and 5 (on the PS1 and Wii, respectively) and leave the movies to unaffected masses.

I wrote 443 words tonight (crossed his legs and went back to his book) and I’m a bit tired right now. I think I’ll retire for the night and pretend that I’m not going to have Potter-infused dreams for half the night.

 

Day Eight Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Filed under: Reading,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I’d never felt so calm beginning my day as I did this morning. I think I’ll need to start every day like today, which means I’ve now found some inspiration for waking up on time.

I’ve found that I like to wake, take a shower, get dressed and then lean in my desk chair with my socked/stockinged feet propped on the bed and read for twenty to thirty minutes before I head to first-job. Whether it’s the calm music playing softly behind me or the act of reading in itself, I’m not sure, but I am never so relaxed and calm as when I start my days this way.

With eight days of living Xbox and television-free, I’m starting to get into a rhythm that I quite enjoy. I’m not pressed to do or achieve anything other than my 250 written words each day. Everything will be fine. I’ve said this to myself many, many times previously, but it’s only now that it’s taken on real significance. I doubt that I would have handled what happened yesterday as well as I did if I hadn’t already been in this cycle of mental cleansing…and the bad thing is that I don’t think I handled things well at all.

I wrote 436 words tonight (the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth). Not counting the 76 words lifted from Luke 15, I wrote 360 (she kicked him under the chair before he stood). I’d thought of some interesting things that I wanted to blog about earlier in the morning, but as I hadn’t had the chance to commit the idea to paper or iPhone, those words are now long gone. Back to my reading….

Op! Now, I remember. Not so long gone apparently…

I find myself liking Hannibal more and more as I read, but not because it’s written well or because I’m fully engaged with the book, but because I love the idea of Lector and I just want to get to the end of the book when I know he and Starling run off together. I know this because someone ruined the ending for me just as I’ve done now for anyone who happens to be reading these words. I don’t know how or when or why, but I know it’s coming and I just want to “see” the end so I can be done with it.

Reading the book reminds me a lot of when I was reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the weekend the book was released. I’d gone to a midnight party as I had for Books 5 and 6, though I wasn’t dressed in Harry garb this time and looked on the whole thing with a twang of nostalgia for how I’d spent my early college years.

When I got my copy, I turned off the television, avoided the phone and did not turn on my computer for nearly 48 whole hours as I attempted to get through the book without someone ruining the ending for me. I just knew that if I turned on anything or spoke to anyone who was as enamoured with the series as I had once been, that someone would shout out who dies in the end or if Harry made it through unharmed. I more or less enjoyed the ride, but mostly because I just wanted to be done with it, not because I particularly enjoyed the writing.

This is where I’m currently placing Hannibal as I fight every urge to just go to the last location on my Kindle and read backward until I find what I wanted to know. I’m trying to enjoy the ride and enjoy the story as much as I can and I’ll admit that the book has now jumped from two stars to almost three for me, but really, I just want to see the end.

I’m not sure if this has anything to do with my current quest for mental enlightenment, with which this book will certainly not help, but I can feel the end approaching. The point, I suppose, is what I’ll do with myself once I’ve reached the end.

Now, back to reading.

 

The third day Friday, June 24, 2011

I’ve gone three days without television or video games or non-classical music. I think I’m okay.

Whether it was from a dream I’d had during the night or just a bout of inspiration, I woke this morning with the desire to make notes for this Harry story I’ve been wanting to write for the past five or so years. It’s probably the last fanfiction I’ll ever write outside of X-Files and SVU stories the pop to mind, but the more I write the notes for it, the more I start to love it.

I’ve not done more than poke at it for the past two years as I’ve brought my focus completely onto Damen, but this morning, I could think of little else. The characters bounced around in my head throughout the morning and on my way to first-job and when I got bored during a meeting at first-job, I started making some notes for them, specifically another name I could anagram from “Tom Marvolo Riddle.”

When I took a lunch today (an oddity in itself), I sat in my car and wrote about four pages of notes for the story, longhand! My handwriting has deteriorated to that of a drunken dolphin, so it will be a bit of a challenge to translate what I wrote into something that can be incorporated into the main notes for the story, but I could not stop thinking about it until I’d committed it to paper, real paper. I just wish that it was a burst of energy for Damen or Jill or Evan or Luka or any of my feasibly publishable projects instead of just fanfiction.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain as writing is writing and I owe a lot to fanfiction as I used it to teach myself how I go about writing a novel, but still…there’s some frustration in spending the bulk of whole day on something that won’t mean much to anyone outside of myself and a few Harry fans.

That said, I think half of what’s started this is that my mind’s a bit clearer than it has been lately. Perhaps today’s ideas have been floating in my head for months, but I’ve only now quieted all the other noise for long enough for these ideas to give me a real picture. The fact that I wrote longhand is an experience all on its own since I don’t think I’ve written anything longhand since Alex and the first phase of notes for Luka more than six years ago.

I’m rather exhausted today; I think it was the exertion of handwriting at the pace my mind’s eye gave me an image. Fatigue aside, I wrote 466 words tonight (Anthony drove them deep into Cabot, Ohio.) and I delved into the beginning of some of Damen’s spiritual issues. My protagonist is an atheist, or at least believes he is, and I’ve laid some foundations as to why he is prior to this point, but I’ve still not quite figured out just how anti-theist he will remain. The fact that I’m coming to this point in the novel at a time when I’ve realized I must get back to my spiritual roots is surely a coincidence, I’m sure…

 

 
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