I am kaitco

a writer's log

Thankful Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Filed under: Gaming — kaitco @ 10:27 pm
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I’m so very thankful for today!

I’ve been in such a slump for so many weeks it got difficult to sort out the good days from the bad, but today, I am uplifted for the first time in a long while.

I got a promotion at first-job, but that’s not what actually pulled me from the slump. This started yesterday as I finally took to heart the saying “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” and made a change. I cleaned the house and resolved to be patient because whatever God had cooking for was only going to materialize on His time and never mine.

I was already feeling good about what I’d just come through when I got the call offering my promotion, so that was just the proverbial icing on the cake. I even got some writing done today!

I’m just so thankful that God breaks me down to build me back up even stronger, since that’s always been His way. It’s not until the sky looks darkest that the light starts to shine. Even though all my friends and family have been saying how they’ve prayed for this promotion for me, I remind myself that the promotion in itself is not really what makes today so special. Today was special because I was happy with my lot in life; happy to be patient, happy to recognize that limits aren’t necessarily bad and happy to know that I struggle for God’s greater glory in the end.

Today, I’m very, very thankful.

 

Responsibilities Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:38 pm
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Today I was asked to take on some incredibly responsibility for my family. I’m scared, not of disappointing my family or even possibly facing issues with the law because of said responsibilities, but the idea that I could fail in this adult journey of mine.

It takes a lot of organization and poise to take on what I’m about to do and, while I know I’m more than capable of getting this started, seeing this to the finish line will be the real task. Lord, help me…

I managed to carve out a little time today to write, morning, afternoon and at night. I wrote 444 words (let things like that happen); not the best literature the world has had to offer, but a few steps closer to getting this done.

I can see the end of this novel and if I can just push through the next 28 days and keep my focus, I may even have this finished and ready to send by April. 🙂

Tonight’s quest, however, will be devoted to finding the best option for working on this novel on an iPad.

 

Great year for 2012, Take Two! Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Filed under: Dorienne — kaitco @ 11:51 pm
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So, when speaking to my grandmother yesterday, we both noted that January was an incredibly long month for us. There just seemed to be so many things going on with the start of the year and Uncle Buddy’s passing that there was no way that this could only be the end of January.

Trying to put a positive spin on this, I’ve got a whole new month to get those goals I’d set for myself in motion. With a few prayers on the wind, I may even get the novel close to finished to next.

Speaking of prayers, I’ve decided to start teaching Sunday School again. Right now, I’m just getting back into just getting there on time for the lessons before I’ll start actually teaching, but I think the best way for me to get back into this is to have myself pushed right into the deep end, which is what my mother did last week when she volunteered my services to help. I’m thankful though, because without that shove off the diving board, I’d have never got around to planning to get to Sunday School on time again.

I got a little bit of writing in today, 399 words (You’re never like this) and I’m glad to get them. February is another month, so Cheers! to another chance to get it right.

 

305 Monday, August 22, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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Considering all the free time I had today, it’s a little disappointing that I barely had 300 words in me for the entire day, especially when I consider that I’m striving hard to pump myself into 500 or more words each day for the month of September; hopefully I’ll be able to bump it to a full one thousand a day.

I feel myself coming round to a specific curve on my emotional cycle where I’m not really sure what I should be doing and have difficulty setting proper tasks for myself. Normally the cycle will be a normal flow of inspiration and purpose, then a sharp drop in motivation where I feel blank and incapable of thought, then comes a low point where I’m ready to start writing morose poetry to describe my mind, then a huge spike in creativity and drive where I can write for ten hours straight without realizing it, and after that spike, I come back down to a blank stage before coming round to the normal flow of inspiration again. I’m definitely back to that blank stage, but the problem with this cycle is that I’ve no idea how long any particular stage lasts or what spurs one to move into the next. I suppose for now, it’s well enough that I’m able to identify the cycle in hopes that my future self will have some inkling for what I do the things I do.

I wrote just 305 words tonight (he had collected from the Internet), but even though I wrote very little, I managed to neaten my kitchen and plan to make it the third room in the house, after my living room and bedroom, to which I delved an entire weekend into cleaning and forced myself to retain it’s relative cleanliness, so that’s got to count for something.

 

Brick Saturday, August 13, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:58 pm
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by Ben Folds Five ~ Whatever and Ever Amen

I’m listening to this song via Google Music which in less than ten minutes managed to turn around my entire day. Prior to experiencing the free set of songs offered by the new Google app, I was going to say that I’d had a pretty crappy day, but now I’ve heard music through a new method and now I’m mildly happy from just the sight of something so new and fun.

I wrote 401 words tonight (for the prayer before the meal) and may have written more tonight except…well, Google Music, really is quite fun.

 

A morning routine Thursday, August 11, 2011

I’m having a difficult time (in general) determining lately whether I’m “telling” my story or showing so much that it feels like tell.

Usually, when I find myself writing “He did X” several times on a page, I’ve fallen into a series of tells instead of showing the reader what’s happening at this point in the story. That said, I’m not quite sure how else I’d say what I’m saying and so it’s coming off as either overly detailed or just plain bland. That’s the infuriating part, though; I can’t tell which!

It seems like a rather simple concept and I’m sure that if I read a bit about it, I’d discover my answer, but I fear “the tell” like a block and I worry that after reading anything about what defines a “tell” versus a “show,” I’ll get “tell” in the back of my mind and end up telling the reader all about Damen and Co. instead of allowing the story to happen on the page.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things, if this is one of my greatest worries in the world, I’ve got loads about which to be thankful, but still…it’s worries me.

Overnight, I’ve decided to go back to writing as a part of my morning routine.

In the past few weeks, I’ve stopped playing Rock Band for three to four hours every night and, aside from gaining a bit of weight from not wearing myself out with all the songs, I’ve found simply things stressing me far more often than they had when I was coming home and forgetting the day by playing through my songs.

Nothing technically stops me from playing every night now, but I have an obligation to myself to finish this draft in the next few months, which means that when I come home at night, I know I’ll either sit down to write for the night or play Rock Band, I’m rarely able to do both before it’s time to go to bed. The happy medium, then, is to write in the mornings, presumably after I do my morning workout. This will, hopefully, allow me time to do both of the things I love and reduce stress at the same time.

I just hate falling asleep in front of the television having done neither by the end of the day. Many days I’ll find that I’m not in the mood to write, but because I’ve sat and stared at the words on my laptop for so long, I’ve wasted too much time to de-stress from the day with my game and end up just having something to eat and then falling sleep in front of the TV to either Netflix or my “Dorienne TV” concoction. If I expect something to change, I can’t keep doing the same thing while hoping for new results.

I wrote 413 words this morning (and I want them now. Right now) and, though, I’m suffering a bit from allergies and I’m still a little down from how the past two days have gone, I think I’m at least on the right path.

 

332 Sunday, August 7, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I made it to church today. As I’ve seen in the past few weeks I’ve attended service, once again, more troubles have fallen on the faithful.

We lost a dear member of our church last night and, while a part of me is nearly all cried out from all the losses I’ve seen at my church home, I’m terribly sadden to hear that he passed.

Few people loved God like he did. He sang the liveliest songs in church though he couldn’t really sing and he did everything in his power to keep his church looking presentable at all times. What I remember most about him was a conversation we’d had back when I was still teaching Sunday school. At Teacher’s Meeting, we were discussing the first chapter of Genesis and whether or not the seven days was truly 168 Earth hours or whether it was a metaphor for the millions of years it took for the earth and its inhabitants to form.

I was growing a little irritated when no one seemed willing to at least meet me halfway on the concept when Brother Mike said in a very clear, purposeful voice that the specifics of whether or not it was truly seven days was not really the point of the text. The point, he advised, was that we as Christians understood that all things came through God first. If I understood that, then all the little things about the “how” weren’t all that important. Years later, that has always stuck with me.

I wrote 332 words tonight (beside him as she watched him draw). That’s about it.

 

A review of a “little down” Saturday, August 6, 2011

On my way home from first-job this evening, I considered the timeline I’d like to manage for the rest of Damen: have a draft complete by end of September, spend three months slashing it down to 120K words, spend four months making two new edits before sending it to agents in April 2012. As I came to the end, however, I started to feel a little down because I’ve set goals like this before, but have never seen them come to fruition. This “little down” chased me into the house and as I got set to write this evening, I took a glance at my e-mail as a last bit of procrastination.

Waiting for me was a “New Review at SVUfiction.com for Flight, a novel” e-mail and I smiled as I read the title of the e-mail aloud. I smiled even wider as I read the small review of Flight and the “little down” had been kicked in the rear by the time I’d read through a page of all the past reviews of Flight.

As I’ve said before, I now think of Flight as probably one of the worst things I’ll ever write in terms of quality, but the story is still rather fun and, judging by the fact that I can still manage to pick up a review every so often about it, is still an entertaining read.

I ended up writing 314 words tonight (he could not help smiling at the envelope.) and what really brought me out of what could have been a rather sad, depressing evening was the thought of what I really intend to do with Damen. At the end of the day, I just want to tell a story. All I want is for someone to spend some time with these characters that float inside my head for a bit and enjoy themselves while they do it. Despite all the goals I’ve got lined that may very well get broken, if I remember this, I’ll be just fine.

 

Tomorrow’s another day Thursday, August 4, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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Today started out bad. I went to bed really late, like four in the morning and I have to be up at eight, late and since I went to bed so late, I was far too tired and was in far to much pain to get up and workout, so I let myself sleep another hour. I didn’t get much from that extra hour, though and while I made it to first-job on time, I did not get a chance to really plan my day the way I’d wanted and the day just passed me by so quickly that I hardly had time to think. The entire day was just completely out of sorts and by five o’clock, I knew that if I didn’t get out of the building and see some water, I was going to snap.

I took a drive through my hometown and went to see a little bit of water; nothing utterly significant, but just something wavy and pretty to stare at while listening to some nice music. I calmed as soon as I got there and despite having to battle with an enormous bug that flew into my car on the way back to first-job, the rest of the evening went much better…that is until I started to write.

While I tried to use the last little bit I’d saved from yesterday to stave off a block, it came anyway and I found myself just writing and writing and writing until something made sense. Fortunately, this time around, nearly all of it was usable and I eventually pulled myself out of the block, but it took an additional two hours and two thousand words to get there.

I wrote 349 words (day of class before their Christmas break.) of Damen’s draft and should be block-less for at least through the weekend…hopefully. I’ve still got enough time to get in my nightly routine before going to sleep at my normal time and get up tomorrow to start the day right, so as I’ve titled the post: tomorrow’s another day and here’s a little something to keep me calm throughout it.

20110805-013245.jpg

 

Another day, another list Tuesday, August 2, 2011

While I awoke very close to my designated time, I didn’t get as much done today as I did yesterday. Today, however, I at least spent the majority of the day playing Rock Band which kept me reasonably active throughout the day.

As I consider these three pounds I’ve gained in the past month, I realize that it’s partially because I’d stopped playing Rock Band for all hours into the day and night. Instead of being on my feet and playing songs that, when they get engrossing, can burn some real calories, I would fall asleep on my sofa, completely still and immobile. Granted, playing Rock Band is not what I’d consider the most strenuous of exercises, but between the singing and the strumming, I often get hot enough to work up a light sweat, thus my knowledge that I’m burning at least few calories while I play.

The remedy here isn’t to play Rock Band all day and night to keep my weight static, but it’s very interesting to me to see what taking away that one activity did to my body. For someone who’s as ridiculously inactive as I, even some daily Rock Band can be enough to keep the pounds from packing on endlessly. With all this said, I can only imagine what will happen towards the end of this month if I can keep up trying to wake early every day and get in a real workout. I don’t suspect I’ll be runway thin by the 1st of September, but still…it’s fun to think it.

I wrote 449 words tonight (in a conversation with Jessie Clarke and two of her friends) and I still feel good overall. I’m planning to go back to church on Sunday and now have the tools at my disposal to make that actually happen. I got the first half of my list completed and feel ready to go back to working 50+ hour weeks at first-job to ensure I’m not so crazy busy by the month’s end.

Another day and I’m still well.

 

 
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