I am kaitco

a writer's log

Brendon’s Camera Friday, February 18, 2011

Filed under: Artwork,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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by Brendon Small ~ Home Movies Bonus CD

I can no longer come up with decent titles again.

Well, since I have been writing since I got home this evening, I managed 2516 words (me mad and I just blurted out whatever.”) which should make up a bit of my non-writing yesterday.

I did another sketch. This time I tried to create Ben’s body as well as that of another manga-ish character. It was mediocre at best, but I think if I keep practicing, I may have something worthwhile.

I haven’t got much else to say other than I’m finally at the part when Damen and Brit are getting to know each other. Such fun! 🙂

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iDraw Thursday, February 17, 2011

Filed under: Artwork,Favorite,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I’ve been watching a lot of “InuYasha” lately and it has got me thinking alot about drawing and learning Japanese again. Mostly the former; I think the latter is a project best left as a reward after I send Damen off for rejections letters.

My father is an artist and it’s long since irritated me that I haven’t inherited too much of his talent in the visual arts. I have tried to play this off by saying that I am a literary “artist,” but when I struggle to do something as simple as draw a face or eyes, I feel like a total failure.

Anyhoo…early this morning, I was bit by the drawing bug while “InuYasha” was playing in the background and put cheap pencil to paper. I started, like my protagonist, by drawing an eye. I’m not entirely sure whose eye this is since I’ve not moved onto colour yet, but I’d like to call it “Jessie Eye” since it looks really striking.

From “Jessie Eye,” I did some searching on drawing tutorials, etc. and had the strong desire to draw a manga face, particularly Kagome from “InuYasha.” I know I didn’t really capture her and, honestly, there’s no way to tell who it is since most manga/anime characters look identical, so I call this one “Manga Face” for now.

Once the manga bug dug a little deeper in my skin, this sensation to truly create something original arose within me and I decided to recreate my character Ben as a manga character. Ben is one of two main characters in a comic I created called “Little Green Men.” I created it and have been drawing Ben and his counterpart Al, in “Little Green Men” since I was about ten years old and completely enamoured with “The X-Files.” And, so I set to work to make Ben into a manga for “Ben revisited.”

Sometime, somewhere, somehow I’ll find an image of the way Ben originally looked and load these side-by-side for comparison. I have to say, I like Ben as a manga and I think this was part of my main rationale for not progressing with “Little Green Men” as my own little webcomic for fun. I can barely draw as it is, and while the writer in me can come up with some great wit and sarcasm for a comic, my inability to draw anything better than a fourth grader kept my pencil in the cup. Mostly, it seems like I’ve always known how Ben and Al were supposed to look, but I wasn’t sure how I’d draw people or how I wanted them to look, so I kept the whole project hold. Drawing Ben as a manga, however, has ignited a drawing fire in me that hasn’t been lit in…well, almost a decade at this point. The real interesting thing was not only did I recreate Ben as a manga, but I also inked him a little in Photoshop, like a real artist who knew what she was doing! 🙂

Needless to say, I gave up on writing for the rest of the night around 3:30am, but later in the day, I DID manage to write another 128 words in Damen (meanwhile the anthology’s still being well-received), which is a bonus either way.

 

Edit: My timing on this post was way off; I’m not sure what happened between 11:15 and 4am, but I definitely got lost in the middle on this one…

 

I blame work Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Filed under: Artwork,Dorienne — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I didn’t get anything written today; I blame my first job.

One of the other managers called in sick and I had was pseudo-drafted to pick up the slack. And, since I’ve been doing a crap job of loading my novel onto my phone each day, I didn’t have my current chapter with me and thus, got nothing done. I did however get a kind of cool shot for my Project 365:
.

Anyway…photo finish on this post!

 

Procrastination, part 1 Sunday, August 16, 2009

Filed under: Artwork,The Sims,Writing — kaitco @ 12:05 am
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I saw “part 1” because I know this is just one many, many future posts that will feature procrastination. It’s now been eight full days since I’ve written any part of Damen. This happens every time I finish a chapter or a major scene and this little cycle is getting a little boring.

I know if I just sit down and start writing I’ll be able to just finish the rest of the notes, but I just can’t make myself write Damen. It’s not even that I can’t bring myself to write at all. After all, I’m writing this, I just can’t make myself write Damen. I’ve even taken to creating Edition 3 of Flight just to take the edge off. I know I want and need to write especially since it’s halfway through August and I’m still working on the notes, but it’s the same level of procrastination that kept me from studying for my O-Chem exams until the very last minute that’s plaguing me right now.

I blame some of this my cycle and the fact that I normally can’t write if the house is a mess, which it is, but I’m rather alarmed at how I’ve not yet figured out how to shake this procrastination. I know everyone deals with it on one level or another, but I’m almost 25 and I still haven’t made any progress with it. The worst part about it is that it almost seems productive.

Writing a blog post feels like it’s productive, but since my main only goal for my birthday this year is to get the novel done, any time I’m not writing Damen, I’m procrastinating. That includes working OT, reading, reading books I’ve already read, editing books I’ve already written, cleaning, DDR, eating, sleeping and I’d like to say even going to church, but I’d rather not be smote before I get the book done. I’ve been feeling rather creative lately, but just not towards Damen. I want to edit Flight and focus Edition 3 on craft and perspective. I want to create my webcomic Little Green Men. I even wrote a few notes on a storyline for “LGM” and have been trying to draw more, even though drawing is not my forte regardless of the genes handed down from my father. I just keep finding new and genuine ways of procrastinating.

Hopefully tomorrow, since I’ve put teaching on hiatus, but ironically want to study and teach more than ever now, I’ll get the cleaning bug and clean the whole house and do laundry and all that jazz and turn of the sims, which is a battle in itself, and sit down to just write. It’s quite a hope and I don’t have much “hope” in it, but here’s hoping…

 

A weird kid Thursday, June 4, 2009

Filed under: Artwork,Coding,The Sims,Writing — kaitco @ 11:35 am
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I haven’t been writing at all lately.

I haven’t even looked at the notes for Damen since at least Monday. I guess I’m in some kind of slump or the old bipolar monster has reared her head again and I’ve been too low to think creatively.

Anyhoo… Even though I haven’t been writing, I’ve coding and designing the crap out of my site. I completely finished my About page and made it a little more asthetically pleasing and hopefully it makes a little more sense than the list of words I’d had there previously.

I’ve still got to create the “Dorienne Presents…” page and redo the links page before I’m ready to “launch” version 3.0 of the site. I suppose another week of heavy coding and designing should get me ready.

Also, I’ve been simming a lot in between all this coding. I’ve been playing a lot of sims that I hadn’t played in probably close to a year. It has been wild fun re-discovering some of the dormant stories in the game. I think I’m ready to bring the neighborhood to a new generation, but this may be a result of the BPD monster working her magic, so I’m not really sure.

In the midst of the coding and the simming, I have been trying to rescue my Geocities pages. It took about an entire day to get through all my sites because I’d definitely abused their services by creating about a half dozen names and linking them all together to get a site that was close to a small site with about 50MB of space total. I’ve not really made use of Geocities’ services since 2004 when I’d created Dorienne Smith.com, but I wanted to keep everything for posterity sake. My hope is that they allow a redirection service for all those sites that have owners that continually log into their accounts, but I doubt that is going to happen. I had to save a Japanese writing site that had a mirror through Geocities as well and that took a couple days by itself, but getting all my own site was a chore that really wasn’t necessary and if Geocities when just went a little extra mile, they wouldn’t have to close the service in the first place.

What got me writing, though, was that in my zeal to recover my Geocities’ pages, I had to search through this pile of papers and notebooks in a shelf that I have just moved from my parents’ house to the dorms to two different campus apartments and to my current house without having gone through all the crap that was in those papers and notebooks. Most of the stuff were just notes on sites I’d planned to make and the preliminary stages of Dorienne Smith.com, but a good many of the pages were old things I had written in the past decade.

I found my first attempt at a novel that I had started when I was ten years old, Twelve Years. I remember quite clearly that the original title was Seventeen Years, but since I was only ten at the time, I reasoned that I didn’t really know enough about being seventeen to write a book about seventeen years of life, so the obvious action was to only expand the book for twelve years because surely by the time I finished the book, I would be at least twelve years old and would be able to write accurately. The fact that I remember thinking something like this just made me realize that I must have been a really weird kid when I was younger.

In the mess of paper and notebooks, I found a spiral-bound notebook that contained the beginnings of an X-Files’ story that I had first created when I was fourteen years old.  The opening scene was rather disturbing, even for an X-File, and it got me trying to remember what my middle and high school years were like. Whether I’ve blocked them from memory or not, I can’t really doing much more than writing, drawing and making lists to categorize how I was changing. I remember knowing a lot of people, but honestly, I had very few real friends, and after viewing that old X-Files story, and I’m surprised that I’d had any at all. I was definitely a weird kid.

As a kid, I wrote zillions of notes for stories, some of which have materialized (albeit subconsciously) into Damen, I created the beginnings of many stories from those notes and I sketched all the time. I’d gone through college looking back at my high school years as someone who just followed the popular crowds and was real bitch for much of the time, but finding all these notes and writings tells me I was far different from how I’d imagined myself.

I sat down to write my first novel when I was ten years old. It wasn’t like I wanted to create a long story or just write something for my mother. At only ten years old, I had it set in my mind that I was going to write a novel and would someday be able to publish it for others to see. I had actually hand-written 98 pages of this novel before I realized that it wasn’t much more than a thinly-disguised fanfiction and, at twelve years old, I began my first real novel, one that contained characters that were wholly my own. I remember writing it off and on over the next few years and, in late 1999, I finished A Ten Minute Speech. I created a sequel to it, The Martin Drama, and finished it before I went off to college in August 2002. Just thinking about it intrigues me: I had began three “novels” and completed two of them before I was eighteen years old.

Now, while neither completed novel is even remotely publishable in their original forms, I still hold the desire to fully complete them and make them into something that someone without a learning disability could read and enjoy. The fact is, I have been doing this “writing” thing for more than a decade and I can’t believe I’d been trying to do other things with my life for so long, when one look at the piles and piles of notes and story ideas could tell any passerby what I should be doing.

I have been writing novels since I was ten years old. I was a weird kid.

 

 
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