I am kaitco

a writer's log

C-C-C-Changes! Saturday, February 18, 2012

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 2:30 pm
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My life is experiencing an abundance of change all at once. Fortunately, much of it is good change.

Things at first-job are the biggest change since I’m on a temporary assignment. How this will affect my writing is beyond me for the moment, but the change will be nice.

With regard to my writing, I’ll admit that I’ve not been doing as much of it as I should, but I think this has more to do with the sudden changes I’m experiencing and a lack of inspiration for Damen. A long-standing problem I’ve seen while writing is when I get bored with a project. It’s not to say that the story is boring, but that my attention span is so short that once I’ve other ideas running through my mind, it gets harder and harder to focus on my current project.

The other day, I spent some time backing up a bunch of files to Dropbox and found my original one-page note file for Damen. I was in the middle of writing Flight and was determined to see it through to completion, but even then, I was starting to focus on other things. That is where I am now; Reruns is almost daily at the forefront of my mind, but then there are the other little stories that keep me distracted.

I tell myself that God has led me to this passion and has made me focus on it, hence the reason I see these providentially coincidental happenings in my life. Earlier this week, I was in the middle of playing Guitar Hero (and finished the Hard Tour for GH2, btw 😉 ) and all of a sudden, I had this incredibly urge to watch The X-Files. Not just X-Files, but a very specific episode, EBE. I’ve seen this episode probably 100 times since I was 9, but in doing something completely unrelated (though this random spaceship does appear on the screen while playing Freebird), I had the desire to watch this episode. So, I queued Netflix on Xbox and watched the episode I’d watched so often I can practically quote it. The difference, however, is that Mulder and his Deep Throat were arguing about conspiracy and I looked up one of the conspiracies he mentioned, The Tuskegee Experiment. After a simple, but troubled read on Wikipedia, a new story and then a whole series developed within the hour after I’d completed the episode.

I call this experience providential because…well, honestly, how can I be prompted to watch a random episode of a beloved show that I’d seen dozens upon dozens of times and only then have my interest piqued in something that led me to a brand new project? To quote X-Files, If coincidences are just coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?

I suppose all this is just an elaborate excuse for why I’ve not come any closer to completing the novel this week, but I thought it worth mentioning just in case I ever desired to recollect how my Lucy Chambers stories became more than just one novel.

I’ve got a lot of changes upcoming at this venture in my life, but with all of this, I realize that I need to change God from something I want to make a priority and instead to something that is the priority in my life. If one whisper in my ear can lead me to a whole series of stories when I’ve not been to church for 2 weeks, what would happen if I did what’s said in the old song: I woke up this morning with my mind…set on Jesus…


Whitney… Saturday, February 11, 2012

Filed under: Dorienne — kaitco @ 10:51 pm
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This post was going to be about all my struggles to write this week (I wrote 2041 words today) and how I’ve finally decided that I’m really going to buy a house in 2012, so I’ve been insanely frugal in the past few days, but that’s not going to happen tonight. Maybe tomorrow, if I get to it.

Whitney Houston passed today. I’m not sure what it is about celebrity deaths and why we, all those who had ever heard of them, are suddenly sent up in arms over there. Most of the Whitney Houston I saw during my life was Bobby Brown-tainted, but when I hear her voice and hear her name, the first thing that comes to mind is the first true gospel music I ever owned.

Years ago, when I first got saved, I, like countless others before me, went through this phase when all I wanted to listen to was gospel music. Trouble was, I had none of it and even though I still hadn’t really considered pirating gospel stealing back then, I didn’t even know where to start. All I had as far as gospel music went was The Preacher’s Wife soundtrack, in which I fell in love shortly after seeing the film for the first time. The soundtrack is probably some of finest gospel music to be found and I stand by that even years later. At some point in listening to Psalm 23 by her mother, I realized that I was with Christ for life and listened to nothing but this album for weeks upon and weeks. Eventually, Christian music experience expanded and I graduated into Christian Rock and R&B, but that album has always been my favorite.

When I think of Whitney Houston, I think of this music and her melodious voice making the Lord’s praises sound so amazing that even those furthest removed from Christ could not hear them without thinking, “My God.”

Tonight, at least, will be spent devouring her music, not unlike what happened when Michael Jackson passed, but most of all, I will be singing along with her as she sings God’s praises well into the morning. Rest in peace Whitney Houston. You’re in God’s arms now.


A house? Thursday, February 2, 2012

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:08 pm
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For the first time in my life I considered that idea that I should be a homeowner. I actually started to look into what homes would be in my price range before I started to add some logic to it, but I can’t escape the fact that I actually thought about it.

I’ve been anti-house for a long time, but in recent months, I seem to be running out of space in my townhouse; and I really want a garage again. The living room isn’t large enough for all my stuff anymore and I would really like to have a decent sized kitchen again. I won’t be able to afford the kind of house I grew up in yet, but the idea of a little space that’s all my own is starting to sound more attractive than it ever did.

“Now is the time to buy” is all I ever hear nowadays and I’m wanting more than ever to feel like a “real” adult with a mortgage and a car note and all the other debt that the rest of America has. Now, feels like the time.

This idea faded a bit on the drive home, but it’s still there nagging at me as something to consider. That said, just a week ago, I almost dropped 1500 to buy a MacBook just because I wanted one, so I realize I just get caught up in the moment at times.

I had planned on getting more writing done today than I did.

I wrote 1003 words today (dinner with Angel and Anthony that evening.). As far as my writing goes, I’m starting to see what I used to attempt daily as not nearly enough any more. I used to pray daily for 500 words, but now when I see that all I wrote was 500 and I highlight it on the page, it looks like nothing and it’s no wonder that it’s taken me three years to write this book.

All this notwithstanding, I wrote a poem today; probably the first in about five years. It’s not truly “my” poem in the sense that I “was” my character Dana Barrington while writing it, but still, poetry is hard and I’m always lightly amused at the result when it’s done.

I wasn’t going to write any poems at all for this project, but I’ve got Damen and Dana discussing poetry in depth and it won’t feel right without at least one:

The story

How do I tell the story
to someone so young?
Should I lie
Should I weep?
Say nothing?
Keep it deep?

He’ll ask the question
I know it; soon
I’ll take time
I’ll get by
But can I look
In his eye?

How do I tell the story
to someone so young?
I’ll make it quick
We’ll feel our pain
But he’ll know he wasn’t
Born in vain.

I was inspired, and thus my character was inspired, for the poem after reading an Emily Dickinson (If I can stop one heart from breaking) and I don’t think much of it, but it’s done and now I can move on with the rest of the book, especially since I completed Chapter 24 tonight.


Responsibilities Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:38 pm
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Today I was asked to take on some incredibly responsibility for my family. I’m scared, not of disappointing my family or even possibly facing issues with the law because of said responsibilities, but the idea that I could fail in this adult journey of mine.

It takes a lot of organization and poise to take on what I’m about to do and, while I know I’m more than capable of getting this started, seeing this to the finish line will be the real task. Lord, help me…

I managed to carve out a little time today to write, morning, afternoon and at night. I wrote 444 words (let things like that happen); not the best literature the world has had to offer, but a few steps closer to getting this done.

I can see the end of this novel and if I can just push through the next 28 days and keep my focus, I may even have this finished and ready to send by April. 🙂

Tonight’s quest, however, will be devoted to finding the best option for working on this novel on an iPad.


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