Today has gone a little better than yesterday. Talking with family and good friends always helps in times like these.
I read briefly about the supposed five stages of grief and I think I suffered all of them in a single day, but I think, if anything, it goes to show I’ve really made a change in my life at the start of this year.
My eye twitch has returned in full swing with this recent stress, but whenever I feel the tug at my eye, I know it’s time to take a break from what I’m doing and remember that “everything is gonna be all right.” Uncle Buddy is gone and I’ll not see him again in this life, but I have the happy memories to keep me company until we meet up again. Life is indeed short and mine grows shorter with each passing day, but at least today, I can say that I’ve honestly done something that may help someone a bit younger than myself take those first steps into a real career; in short, I’ve just helped someone. These are concepts that eleven days ago, I’d have agonized over for days and days without coming up with an answer.
No matter the situation, there is always a positive and that’s what I’ve tried to keep at the forefront of my mind through each event during this last week, which brings me to another reason my eye has been twitching so much today.
I’m a digital hoarder, of sorts, in that I keep nearly every document, e-mail, picture, whatever on some hard drive or CD/DVD/circa-95 floppy disk, etc. that I can find “just in case” I could possibly need it. When it comes to my writing, the same applies. For example, just a few weeks earlier, I’d found some old 3.5in floppies in my house and found some old stories that I’d written when I was eleven years old.
All my writing projects and all the material for my websites are housed on a single eight-year old external hard drive. Needless to say, this small device houses my many hopes and dreams as well as records of what I can honestly call accomplishments over the last decade. Nearly everything article I’d created on my site and nearly every story, fan-fiction, true fiction, non-fiction, lives on the same hard drive. Today, that hard drive stopped working.
While my heart quite literally skipped a beat this morning, I remained calm and reminded myself that anything worth anything was backed up somewhere, Damen especially. I’ve littered three PCs, two iPhones and half the Internet with one copy or another of my current novel, so even if I’d lost all of the work on the drive, Damen would still be safe (it’s also on Dropbox) and, if God, decided it was time for me to get rid of all that, then it’s for my best. A few weeks ago, I’d lost some work I’d done on Reruns and nearly panicked about it until I realized that what I’d written wasn’t very good and, since I remember the gist of what I wanted to say, I know I can write better when the time comes to really write that story.
My mind wandered back to my hard drive several times throughout the day, but I kept saying to myself that it really would be all right, and even if it was all somehow gone, data recovery services just aren’t that expensive. As I’d already known before I’d left the house this morning with the drive still malfunctioning, everything turned out to be all right; just a little glitch to give me a day of mild terror.
I am, of course, in the process of backing up the entire drive in two places, however, just in case another failure lurks down the road, but it’s today’s preparations that gives me the peace of mind for tomorrow. Just like I can prepare and be right with my God should I meet my own end sooner than I’d expect, I can prepare for everything else too.