I’ve not done a lot of writing in Damen this week, but I have been making dozens of notes for Reruns and also Lydia ( 😉 I just love that this story finally has its voice). The most fascinating part of all is that I’m not at all worried or stressed by where I’ve been putting my creative endeavours, which lets me know that my true resolution for the new year is starting to take effect.
I thought long and hard about how I could “Do better,” but no voice of inspiration came to that gave clear directions on how this could be accomplished, so instead, I likened “Do better” with doing better with God, i.e., let Him have true control. I know it’s only been a week into this new year, but I already feel better for doing better.
This week, I’ve not let the little things bother me and just reminded myself that God is in control, so there’s no need to worry. Troubles with first-job (and there have been some extreme troubles in just this week) can’t possibly bother me because I know God will take care of me. Slight distractions with my writing can’t bother me either because as long as I’m writing something that will help proclaim the name of God, I can’t possibly go wrong.
This new lot on life came to me, not in that sudden burst of inspiration I was expecting, but through a close look at my December 2011. In times when I’m stressed to my breaking point, my body lets me know that things are going wrong by an eye-twitch. I’d only experienced this about two years ago when I was, again, stressed to nearly my limit. My mother says that she develops the same sort of thing which is why it is so important to eliminate it’s source quickly before health problems begin. In these eight days with my resolution in place, however, the twitch has all but ceased. True, it reappeared briefly today when I thought my choir director was going to have me sing a solo without practicing first (I almost passed out in the choir stand just thinking about it), but when that passed, the moment took the twitch with it.
My track record of continuing things and completing projects over these last 27 years of life has not been so good, but I’ve got something different this time around and in place of the life-altering stress, I’ve got inner peace and the bold confidence that comes from knowing, as the old hymn goes, “I’ve got a feeling, everything is gonna be all right…”
Now, for the funny story:
I’ve got some new people to my team at first-job and one of them asked me this Thursday for the number for our call-off line. As I normally tease my folks to bring them into the fold, I was relentless as normal, but gave the number in case he needed it, as he assured me that he wouldn’t be calling off any time soon. Yesterday, after first-job, I went to GameStop to sell back a game (and get all of $0.83 for it) and while I was there, I looked up and saw this same employee. I waved when I saw him, but he looked kind of awkward at me and when I went to say hello, he nearly bolted from the store.
I didn’t think much of it until after I was leaving with Skyrim in hand (which means my time for writing will dramatically decrease unless I’m diligent this month), but then I remembered that he was supposed to be at first-job that day…and he had called in sick, yet looked perfectly healthy at GameStop. 🙂 I laughed about his quick dash from the store all the way back to my car.
I’m still getting used to the idea that I’m really someone’s boss and that I’ve got a group of people who see me as My Boss Dorienne instead of just Dorienne. But, this was just really funny to me.