I am kaitco

a writer's log

What doesn’t kill me… Sunday, November 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 12:07 am

I’ve spent the majority of this day drinking tea and reading in either my steaming bathroom or my sweltering bedroom. I’ve found that the only thing that allows me to breathe for any period of time is extreme heat, preferably steam and just sweating out this terrible cold seems to be working.
Yesterday I had a panic attack about death. I used to get them all the time before I was saved, but recently, they’ve started up every once in a while again. The interesting thing, however, was that instead of falling into prayer to get over it, I said a quick prayer and then said, “Oh, well. I’ll deal with it when it happens.” I’m not sure why, but that stance on death is a little easier to deal with for me instead of worrying about whether my good works outweigh my sins and how I’ll be judged in the end. The “Oh well” attitude puts me at ease. Very strange. Needless to say, I didn’t make it to church today either.

I haven’t written anything today either. Oh well…


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