I am kaitco

a writer's log

Awakened at September’s end Friday, September 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:34 pm

It’s four days past my birthday and I’ve not got the novel as complete as I’d like to have it at this point. That’s fine though. This is what I’ve been telling myself since 5:08pm on the 26th. “That’s fine though.”

One of the agents to whom I’d planned to send my novel has now stopped accepting manuscripts for the rest of the year, but I’d ultimately planned to start sending query letters in April 2012, so “that’s fine though.”

I’m at the end of my vacation and more relaxed than I was previous to travel, but I’m still rather annoyed by the TSA and further distraught that I’ve no means of complaint as, in that matter, I’m one small ant drowning in the Atlantic as I try to voice my displeasures. That’s fine though.

I’ve recently finished Persuasion again and have been watching the film adaptation almost every night for the last week or so. I love it so dearly and I’m feeling that something must be done about this. And…that’s fine though.


Leaving Thursday, September 29, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:33 pm

The sky is very grey and it’s drizzling; it’s not looked so sad outside since the first time I had to leave New England as a child.

The drive from the Cape was ridiculous and seemed even longer than the drive from it and I’ve just now realized that I’ve forgotten the 15.00 sunglasses I bought in Provincetown that were precisely the style I’ve longed to find for ages now…in the damn rental car…This day was dreary indeed.


Dorienne the prognosticator Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:32 pm

I can’t remember how old I was when these started, but I’ve long since had what I’ll call an “ability,” for lack of a better word, to sort of see things before they happen.

This little gift has proven far from useful since I’m not one to really believe in that sort of thing and also since these visions are never of any use since they aren’t clear until they actually happen.

The perfect example of this happened recently while we were on the whale watch. Late Monday, I started to get this premonition that my phone was going to slide out of a hand and then there was going to be a giant splash of water caused by the phone. This was all the “vision” brought to my mind’s eye. Not when this would happen or anything about the events leading up to this or even bits about the aftermath; nothing useful, but all this nothing just weighed upon my mind all day on Tuesday.

So, when I got on the boat, I made certain that my phone was wedged deep into my pocket, but even then, I still could not shake the feeling of what I’d “seen.” The phone was nearly stuck in my pocket, but (standing far from the railing), I struggled to remove it and finally put it in my bag and zipped the bag shut to keep the phone from somehow slipping from my hands and falling into the water.

This vision, however, continued even after I’d got off the boat and even into dinner, when we were far from the water.

I tried to push away all thoughts of the premonition while at dinner and used my phone to show my mother a particularly hilarious xkcd (http://xkcd.com/954/). She laughed at the comic and as she was handing the phone back to me, it slipped from her hand, caught the edge of my fairly tall cranberry juice and Sprite with lemon mix, causing it to fall over and send a shower of juice and ice all over the table, the nearby wall and my jeans. Shortly after we’d laughed about this, I stopped getting my little vision.

I suppose later in life, when I’m old and most people consider me unstable, this ability will become useful, but for now, it’s just a pain. What good are super-powers if I’ve no idea how to channel them?!?


Watching Whales among other things Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:31 pm

Today was truly a vacation day. We went on a whale watch and walked on the beach a bit before exploring the outer Cape in the car. This was all before my mother nearly had the hotel staff breakdown my door because she thought I was lying dead or dying in my room, but that’s another story for another day.

For the past few nights, I’ve not managed to study prior to writing, but tonight, I got the job done. Perhaps all I needed was a little rest; a little time away from my ordinary life.


Birthday Monday, September 26, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:30 pm

It’s my birthday. 27 years on this planet. Phew! The entire day was spent at the beach; not including sleeping in and not getting breakfast until about 1pm. Such a glorious day to be spent just sitting with my feet in the sand with only the sounds of the ocean to lull me into a perfect calm.

While I’ve not done an incredible amount of writing today, I still feel invigorated by starting another year of life. I’m vowing myself to be a better adult today than I was on the proverbial yesterday and while I know I’ll trip up quite often like I have on so many other life’s endeavours, I’m just glad I’m able to make these mistakes and correct them.


Worry Friday, September 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:29 pm

I wonder why I work as hard as I do. At the end of the day there’s no real benefit for myself and there’s still more work to do.
I’m worried if this trip is really going to happen. Furthermore, I’m worried about my dear grandmother’s health. This is the second time this year that I’ve sat up nights praying for a grandmother and I really don’t like it. I suppose this is what comes with adulthood, but I’m still not accustomed to it.


The boss Thursday, September 22, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kaitco @ 11:27 pm

The other day, I heard my employees talking about Words With Friends and it occurred to me that they must all be friends on Facebook. I could not help, however, being a little hurt to realize that they all seemed to be Facebook friends, but were not friends with me. I know this is because, regardless of how friendly, amiable and open I try to be, I’m still their boss, with “control” over whether they get raises or remain employed.

In realizing all of this, I grew a little disgusted with myself because I don’t remember it being this way several months ago, but it’s a fact that I’ve got to get over if I expect to do anything with my life. As long as I continue my career at first-job, I’ll be someone’s boss and I can’t blame them for occasionally treating me like such. I know I most likely would not add my own boss as a friend on Facebook and I’ve declined friend requests from other past employees as well (though I’m a bit unsure why anyone would want to be Facebook friends with someone who fired them).

I suppose it’s just a bit jarring to realize that you’re one of “them” now. I’m one of the bosses. A part of it feels okay, but mostly the idea of it makes me a little queasy.

I think it comes as such a surprise to me because most of my employees are around my own age, so I don’t feel like the old mother hen over her chicks. In fact, with several of them, it’s a balance between remaining the “superior” and still respecting those are far older than me. It all goes back to adulthood jumping from out of nowhere to surprise me, I guess.

I wrote 588 words today (Why didn’t you just stay on the curb) and I’m finally starting to believe this book may get done after all. I remember writing the notes for scene I finished tonight years ago and I remember thinking that the scene had to take place much “later” in the book. Character personalities would have to have been established and a hint of the underlying message (for lack of a better word) would need to be already present in order for the scene to work…and yet it’s been done.


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