I am kaitco

a writer's log

I need to do more Sunday, July 31, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:45 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Another month has come and gone and once again, I found myself simply giving up on what I needed to do. There was simply too much of it, I was simply too tired and I simply could not conceive of trying to do more…so I didn’t.

Each month after a massive fail like this one, I tell myself that I refuse to let last month go the way this month did and I vow that I’ll do better, but I don’t and I end up in the same cycle I was previously because I just managed to get away with doing the barest sense of the minimum. The urge to do the same was ever present this evening. All I really wanted to do is say, “Well, tomorrow begins another month,” I’m not gonna!

I’m making some changes in my life because I must do more with my life.

A while ago (probably about two years ago) I made this list of things I’d like to do on a daily basis that would make me the ideal representation of myself and was a step-by-step guide to my day which included everything from flossing to specific time set aside to play The Sims. I hung my guide in my bedroom and while I would scan it bemusedly from time to time, I never really edited it or adhered to it.

Tonight, I remade the list for an ideal Dorienne and I’m not sure whether it is because of the bounce I feel after failing as hard and as fast I did today or because it’s beginning of a new month and I’m feeling inspired, but this time around, I really do intend to stick to my list.

I’ve not made a promise like this to myself in while and probably not since my Livejournal days, but if I’ve learned anything about myself this year is that I really can create a goal and stick to it. I decided this year that I’d write a post every day, and have. I decided to write some of my novel every day, and have. I decided to write a minimum amount of words in said novel and, again, I have. I’ve set several goals this year and made good on them, so as I see it in this blog, this goal shouldn’t be any different.

I don’t expect that I’ll wake the 1st of August and become an entirely new person; I just want to do more with my life. I want to be on time for things and get jobs accomplished when expected of me. I want to be the reliable adult I’m expected to be at this stage of my life.

I wrote 354 words tonight (I don’t like being touched,” Damen said.) and I’ve decided to up my daily word count to a whopping 300 words going forward. Tomorrow I’m scheduled to write some more just after laundry and piano, but before playing any game (Rock Band included). Perhaps I’ll stick to the list verbatim and perhaps I won’t. I just want to do something more…

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