I didn’t get to church today because I had to be at first-job. I could have said no, but I know a time will come when I need someone to cover for me, so I did it, not because I’m kind, but because I really do expect something in return. Today was not a good day in that regard.
It took only one day with the “TV” on before I fell back into poor habits. I fell asleep in my chair as I was watching instead of acknowledging my fatigue and dragging myself back to bed. Instead of allowing my nine days of clarity to go by the wayside, I’ve decided to take a stand and ease further into this. I had a wonderful thing going by reading myself to sleep each night and I’ll definitely be going back to that. There is something very different in falling asleep after reading for so long that I can barely keep open my eyes versus falling asleep to the ambient, but still cacophonous sound of television. I also found that I’m never as relaxed and happy to start my day as I am when I take 20-30 minutes in the morning just to read.
All this profound realizing aside, I did a lot of writing this evening by writing 803 words (who had the voice of a pop star.) in my zeal to push further through this part of the chapter. The interesting thing about writing tonight was that I wrote more the scene where Damen goes to church. I got to sit in the moment and really feel as if I were there singing Blessed Assurance with the rest of my church, though the church Damen visits is far different from my own. Though I didn’t get to go, I still feel as if I went.
I sang the songs of Zion in my choir to and from first-job and sat in pews of my mind’s eye. I haven’t got to sermon part so that’s of course missing, but I really feel better now having written a little than I did at this start of this morning when I resigned to the fact that I didn’t have it in me to get to Sunday School and then work a full day.