You’d think that after coming from a vacation, the last thing I’d need is more time for myself, but that’s I felt tonight as it came time to write. I wanted so badly to just take off for the night…just one night!
But, I didn’t. I’m sure in a few months I’ll be glad I didn’t, but right now I’m just annoyed that the only thing keeping me writing at this point is the desire to not break my four-month streak of writing every single night, rain or shine and regardless of whether I want to write.
If I really think about it, all this pushing comes from the fact that I consider writing to still be my second job, though Rock Band is quickly becoming the third. I think somehow in these past few months I’ve seen first-job as the one that pays the bills, second-job as the one that will hopefully pay the bills in the future and Rock Band as the hobby that writing once was, but can’t be any longer since it’s now a second job for me. As with all second jobs, this really blows, but I know I’ll thank myself in the end.
I wrote 271 words tonight (how much carrot was too much for the carrot cake) only by the grace of God and I shudder when I think about how little I’ll want to “go” to second-job tomorrow given my view of it tonight.