I am kaitco

a writer's log

Across the Stars Friday, March 18, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:49 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

as composed by John Williams ~ Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones soundtrack

Today was very rough at first-job. The kind of rough that makes me want to scream that I’m quitting and just walk out the door. Of course, I’m still rational enough not to do anything like that, but when first-job gets so stressful that it’s difficult to even think about my second job without complaining to my mother and playing Lego Star Wars for an hour first, it bothers me.

I should be in far better spirits tonight than I am, but because of some short-sightedness that is no fault of my own, the pressure is on and feel as if I’m ready to thrown in the towel on everything.

My choir director called me today since I’d missed singing with them on Sunday and I almost burst into tears right there in the middle of the floor on the phone because I just felt so bad. First-job was stressing me out last weekend as well, to the point that I plain forgot about singing at church. That bothers me too.

I don’t know if I’m in a rut and in need of a vacation or what it is, but even though I know that some relief may be coming soon as the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, I know I’m still wandering around in the dark, bumping into things and swearing loudly as I do.

I managed 419 words today (He heard her giggle. “Night Damen-Mon.”) which puts me over my 250, but still does not feel like an accomplishment. I think it’s because I could have done more and would have done more…but first-job is kicking my butt so hard lately that I can’t bare to even sit down to write.

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