Today, I was presented with one of those answers god likes to give to my questions when I’ve long forgotten I’d even asked them.
What I thought seemed right and what I thought seemed easy were vastly wrong. What is easy is impatience, willfulness and plain fear of hard work. What is right, and thusly hard, is patience, taking on new challenges and experiencing great while within one’s comfort zone.
I thought leaving my current first-job for a new one was the right/hard choice, but in reality I was just running away from my responsibilities and possible hardship that was headed my way. It is hard to handle a million projects and manage a team of people. Very hard. It’s also hard to sit patiently and wait just as it is difficult to watch people leave you behind as you trudge towards a goal. However, it’s fascinatingly easy to stir up the pot and run away led on pure emotion. No matter what happens later this week, or month or year, I understand the lesson: When something feels disgustingly wrong, it is!
It felt wrong to let days go by without writing…because it was and just as it felt wrong to up and leave my first-job for a new, it was also rash and wrong to lie in absolute sloth for the past few days.
Today, between this morning and this evening, I’ve written 822 words (they’ve been bred to be better athletes.”) which is the best I’ve managed in some time.
I’ve got so much more to do and it’s hard, as is life. But, what’s the alternative? To sit and jump from goal to goal asking why nothing goes my way?