I am kaitco

a writer's log

Finding my voice Friday, January 14, 2011

I wrote 707 words this evening, not counting the edits I made to what I completed yesterday. I got into some more of Corey’s character and, for a brief moment, I found myself really liking him. Corey’s very smart, not as smart as Damen or possibly Brit, but he is very smart. He just has some severe issues with identity because of his home life, much like Damen.

The more I write Corey, the easier it is to compare he and Damen and the more I want the idea of their similarity to drive the rest of the book. I want folks wondering throughout the novel if Damen thinks the way Corey thinks. At the same time, however, I don’t want to give off the idea that all of Corey’s supposed conservatism is evil and wrong. I hinted on something really deep tonight when Corey spoke about atheism vs. agnosticism, something I didn’t think was in me to do. Not really sure where all that came from Never mind, I know…

I would have tried to write to some more after midnight, but “Sense and Sensibility” just arrived from Netflix and I watched the whole thing…for the eighth time.

I just can’t get over that movie; I love it so much and I cry at the end every, single time. It is so engaging because as subtle as Elinor is, you can truly feel every moment of heartbreak and frustration she feels. Anyway, enough about the Dashwoods…

I feel amazingly better today than I have all week and I think I owe my perks to a little exercise and some singing.

Exercise is obvious since it gets the endorphins flowing which is like taking a hit of some awesome drug. I’ve been taking the stairs five flights down once or twice a day to use the ladies room on the first floor, mostly for sanitary reasons since the one on the fifth floor is downright disgusting, and the little bit of movement gets my heart pumping just enough to perk me up and keeping me feeling strong and alert.

I only noticed the singing part, however, yesterday evening when I was already in a reasonably good mood. I used to sing in the car to and from work everyday and I never used to fall into the pits of despair I’ve seen these past few weeks back then. Lately, if I even have on any music, I just listen and still let all my thoughts eat at me on the drive home instead of letting more worries melt for twenty minutes there and back (again).

Tonight, I sort of forced myself to sing on the ride home and felt better for it. I was not as exhausted this evening as I normally am after a long day of meetings and projects and questions, questions, questions!

Anyhoo…I’m on a bit of a roll now, so perhaps, I’ll just keep writing way into the morning. I’m on a nice little Jesus kick in my writing fervor and that kick always gives me an extra burst. 😀


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