Some days, it’s difficult to ascertain what is specifically troubling me and those days are often the hardest.
I often attempt to sing out frustrations in the car on the way home, or play sims or some video game until I forget, but it’s rare that I turn to writing unless I’m dealing with clear strife. I don’t really know another way to deal with severe loss or anger unless I simply “write it out,” but today did not bring the kind of strong emotions that would warrant the need of writing, and so, the frustration just builds and builds with no outlet.
Like I’ve said, I don’t even know what it is that’s bothering me. I can’t say if it’s the first job or my worries about how the novel will be perceived or religion or family or even if it’s just fatigue, constipation or hunger. I feel too much and therefore can’t properly feel anything.
The 232 words I’ve written tonight have no particular feeling to them; they are just words. There is emotion on the page, but unlike with the majority of my writing, I’ve been unable to channel the emotion from the screen to my fingers to my brain. I just see words and can see the emotion my characters face, but am unable to feel with them.
The worst part is I haven’t found a way to truly remedy this problem. I can only pray and hope that it goes away by morning…