I am kaitco

a writer's log

Time flies Monday, January 31, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:57 pm
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I noticed this evening how true time flies. In something as slow as a child growing up to something as simple as how I told myself I had “plenty of time” to finish another chapter on Lego Star Wars and still have time to write this evening. That said, time is passing me by at an ever increasing rate and I didn’t write anything today.

I think the worst part about not getting anything written today was that it was my day off from the first-job, but I didn’t feel well all day today and I’ll use that as an excuse for now.

Sometimes I really can’t believe how much time flies. Today is the 31st day of the first month in the second decade of the “new millennium.” It feels like just yesterday that people were freaking out about Y2K and hording food for the end of days. Luckily, there is always an end of days timeframe lurking just around the corner, so December 2012 will be an interesting time to be alive, assuming I don’t get hit by a bus or something by then.

Looking over this month, I still can’t believe I actually made it 31 days writing this blog without a break. I’ve had urges and goals like this previously, but they’ve always failed, no matter how badly I wanted them.

The key, I believe, is in having a real plan in place. My plan for January 2011 was no plan. That is, my only plan was just to do it. If I did it, I did it. If I didn’t, I didn’t. With no real pressure with a major plan in place, there was no sense of incoming failure lurking at all times and thus, I was able to naturally progress into a method of doing something daily that wasn’t a bodily function. Now, I think it’s time to up my proverbial ante.

I’ve got the method and the mindset in place; I’ve just got to make good use of them. For the next 28 days, I am going to write something in Damen. Every. Single. Day.

To keep with the guise of the “I really don’t care either way attitude” I’ll give myself an out, which will be I won’t have a word count limit at this point. Does this mean that I’ll probably see an increase in posts where I’ve written 500 words or less? Most definitely! But, I suppose I’ve got to start some place and this is as good as any.

With that said and my goal set, I think it’s time to waste the rest of this evening in the best way possible, so to Lego Star Wars, I return!

 

A busy day Sunday, January 30, 2011

Filed under: Dorienne,Writing — kaitco @ 11:58 pm
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My mind is kind of blank right now. I’ve just now come home from an 8-hour stint at the first-job, bringing me up to 59 hours for the week. There is something so awful about the sound of working a 60-hour week that I hate to think about it, but I know that if I don’t get some better organization going, I’ll be peaking at 70 and 80-hour weeks shortly.

A part of this fatigue comes from not getting enough sleep last night (blaming Netflix on that one) and then literally getting “all cried out” over the sight of my pastor drooping over the podium as he fell ill into his seat. What’s really interesting about the whole incident is my behaviour when I start to panic. I probably look calm and to outsiders, I may even seem calm; perhaps just tired or sad. But, eventually I managed to run away from the scene. The first time I noticed I did this was at Edrith‘s homegoing. I wasn’t ready for the funeral directors to bring her in yet and I actually ran away from helping my cousin with the remaining arrangments. I panicked today too and, while everything seems to have worked out for the best (more or less), I really did manage to book it out of church today rather calmly.

I got through 388 words today (, in his mind, was like what Corey did), which is nothing especially special, but…

Considering the day I’ve had, I’m glad I even have the strength to write anything all. Onto tomorrow…

 

634 Saturday, January 29, 2011

Filed under: Music,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I couldn’t think of a decent post title, so I’ve decided to use my word count for the day (Damen sighed again and tried to return to his play).

I’ll have to make this quick since I decided that I wanted to be over 500 words today when I was at 488, but then found I didn’t want to stop writing.

I’ve had a fun idea that’s got procrastination written all over it: Creating playlists that tell the story of my projects. So, Pete Yorn’s “Ever Fall in Love” would be a perfect fit for Damen as well as “The Weakness in Me” by Joan Armatrading. But, to keep this from becoming the project that overtakes my real project, I think I’ll leave the playlist creation as part of my many rewards for completing the novel.

That said, I’ve got off to a good start with Chapter 10. Yay! 🙂

 

Nothing important Friday, January 28, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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Today’s prose caught me in a bit of a struggle. I was overcome with this urge to completely re-write what I had previously written, but after continuous lines that were quickly deleted, I ended up simply cleaning up what I already had. Close to fifteen minutes were spent trying to decide whether I keep Damen thinking about The Brothers Karamazov or just “something” (that was strange, I typed something as John Lennon sang the word something in the song “Something” playing just now) by Dostoyevsky, but then, I wanted to actually use a specific title, though I was certain I didn’t want The Brothers Karamazov. I looked up Crime and Punishment since I haven’t read it yet and then looked at other Dostoyevsky works before finally sighing and going back The Brothers Karamazov.

I had recently edited the end of Chapter 9 (which I did finish tonight) since I was straying into literature that was a little too obscure for my intended audience. Not saying that anything by Dostoyevsky could be on the suggested reading lists of anyone who would read my book, but I still think that I should keep to the same realm.

I’ve got nothing else to say about today, which is interesting since I feel oddly blank tonight. I wasn’t in the mood for anymore TV, so I decided to come upstairs and write. Anyway, I completed the chapter and wrote 1083 words (that Angel’s crying could be heard even down the hall) and made it through another day.

Nothing important, but still somehow valuable.

 

Contraction Thursday, January 27, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:48 pm
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Unless I’m in the midst of a ton of dialogue, I rarely break into a contraction while writing prose. Not at this stage in the game, at least. Perhaps in the “heavy notes,” but even then I’ve weeded out most of them.

I’m not sure if it was the cold, the hunger or the urge to finish this chapter, which I’ll probably do later tonight, but a contraction in prose just came out of me. She didn’t finish the sentence. What’s wrong with me??

Anyway, I’m proud that I got to this early for once and even prouder that 27 days have passed and I’ve got 27 posts to show for it. Again, I’ll say it: This blog keeps me honest.

I can’t remember a time in Dorienne history when I’ve ever torn myself away from anything as warm and comfy as “Arrested Development” on the sofa with Reese’s puffs to munch on within an arm’s reach to go all the way upstairs to not just make a post, but make a post and write and, yet, for the past few days, I’ve managed it.

I’ve faced deadlines of epic proportion and risked my status at school to continue with current methods of procrastination, but this blog keeps me honest.

Tonight, I came home from work late and made the conscious decision to write and post before I settled onto “Fullmetal Alchemist” via Netflix and this bean-salsa creation. That’s got to count for something.

I wrote 346 words tonight (source of the flavor that filled the air) and while it’s nothing special, it keeps me happy. I don’t think I’ll finish this chapter tonight, but I’ll probably finish it tomorrow or possibly Saturday (hopefully tomorrow) and that’s good enough for me. In the past two months, I’ve gained more ground in Damen than I have at any point in the past three years. I’m driven, I’m determined and I’ve finally found a catalyst for continued writing: Purely egotistical, self-indulgent posts! 🙂

 

New music, new life Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Filed under: Music,Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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I feel like I’ve cheated a little today because most of my nightly word count came mostly from editing. That being said, I’m still proud of the 423 words (about her every five minutes.”) I managed to write slash edit.

I’m starting to get rejuvenated and I truly “blame” some new music I’ve “discovered.” The problem with me and music discovery is that I don’t listen to the radio, I don’t watch television (therefore, no music videos), and I rarely trust the music suggestions of my own friends and family. So, I end up stuck in 2005 with music rarely reaching beyond that year.

I have recently “discovered” Janelle Monae’s Metropolis albums and I’ve not been in love with music like this in a very long time. She’s so different and reminds me of Andre 3000, but less vulgar and with more experimentation. I found her while testing some of the music suggestions of QC’s Jeph Jacques and couldn’t be happier with what I’m hearing – I’m listening to her “Many Moons” at this very moment.”

I had been watch Jeph Ustream a comic and he had some music I really enjoyed in the background, so I decided to finally peruse his list of best albums of 2010. Previously never hearing of any of these bands, I passed off the list as a list of “crazy” Indie music, but after hearing what I heard on the Ustream, I took a chance. I added four of the albums to my “Stuff I Want” list and some extra clicking on Amazon later, I found Janelle Monae.

I probably won’t write too much more tonight, but I feel energized from something that only comes from pure music discovery. Now, onto “Cybertronic Purgatory.”

 

Right vs. Easy Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 11:59 pm
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Today, I was presented with one of those answers god likes to give to my questions when I’ve long forgotten I’d even asked them.

What I thought seemed right and what I thought seemed easy were vastly wrong. What is easy is impatience, willfulness and plain fear of hard work. What is right, and thusly hard, is patience, taking on new challenges and experiencing great while within one’s comfort zone.

I thought leaving my current first-job for a new one was the right/hard choice, but in reality I was just running away from my responsibilities and possible hardship that was headed my way. It is hard to handle a million projects and manage a team of people. Very hard. It’s also hard to sit patiently and wait just as it is difficult to watch people leave you behind as you trudge towards a goal. However, it’s fascinatingly easy to stir up the pot and run away led on pure emotion. No matter what happens later this week, or month or year, I understand the lesson: When something feels disgustingly wrong, it is!

It felt wrong to let days go by without writing…because it was and just as it felt wrong to up and leave my first-job for a new, it was also rash and wrong to lie in absolute sloth for the past few days.

Today, between this morning and this evening, I’ve written 822 words (they’ve been bred to be better athletes.”) which is the best I’ve managed in some time.

I’ve got so much more to do and it’s hard, as is life. But, what’s the alternative? To sit and jump from goal to goal asking why nothing goes my way?

Never.

 

 
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