I am kaitco

a writer's log

T’was a few hours before Christmas travel Friday, December 24, 2010

Filed under: Writing — kaitco @ 12:18 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I wanted to get in a little writing this morning since I’m typically bad at getting any real writing completed when I’m traveling.

I edited much of what I’d written these past ten days or so and ended up writing 284 words to get right up to a previously edited scene where Damen visits the Hanby library.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: less than 500 words is barely an accomplishment when I have so far to go, but the point of this exercise is not to focus on word count, but to write something meaningful and keep writing.

The last seven days have been the perfect example of my failures of the past. I get down about whatever – the weather, the writing itself, my finances, my friendships, my family, whatever – and I lose focus and end up going six weeks without writing anything at all. I think that’s why Damen has taken me now three years to complete.

With Flight, I was very focused on what I wanted to do and the writing helped me transition into a new job and finish school. Damen has been my first project where I am striving for multiple things simultaneously and the opportunity to lose focus is great.

I want my second job to be my first and only job, but at the same time, I still want my current first job to be all that it can be and more. I’m not sure if it’s ambition or madness, but it’s what I want.

The only thing really different about previous bouts of highs and lows when it comes my writing is that this time I felt accountable to myself…through posts just like this.

Each time I had to write “I wrote nothing last night,” I fully understood the magnitude of what had really happened; a day had passed and I was no closer to my goal because of my own sloth and lack of willpower.

Obviously, I’m nowhere close to finishing Damen, but unlike in past years, I not only feel like I’m on track, I think I may have found something to keep me going, even when I really, really, really want to quit. 🙂

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