I’ve not spent nearly as much time writing in 2010 as I should have. I’ve been straying onto a dozen different projects instead of focusing on what’s really most important for me and, because of such, I sit with my manuscript half barely a quarter complete and feeling as if all my dreams of being published were just pipe dreams afterall.
I wish I could place all the blame on one thing or another, but it’s been a complete willfulness to do everything other than I should be doing. The best example, though nowhere near the only, is that I do the majoriy of my writing on my laptop, but I also run The Sims from my laptop. I could, in theory, have up my novel on the desktop with the sims running on the laptop, but that has never worked because sims will, unfortunately, take priority and nothing gets done. So, I must make a willful choice NOT to write so that I can play sims and the worst part about it is that these sim playing sprees can last for days, if not weeks! Every minute spent playing sims is a minute not spent writing and, with five years of game obsession bordering on routine, I’m not sure how to break the cycle.
I’ll play my game, get bored after a few days, and then find new and more time-consuming activities to fill the void, while I leave the game running on the laptop. I browse and browse while the game runs, so I can’t even turn to writing when I get slightly bored with the game. I’ll jump from thing to thing to thing, and all the while, my novel goes unfinished.
This week I hold no expectations that I’ll manage to break the cycle and will only turn on the sims when I’m in need of a break after writing for so many hours, but the hope is that I’ll remain conscious of the fact that each time I reach for my PC to do something other than write is one more moment I’ll spend away from my dream…